Can't win for losing

Have you ever been in one of those situations where no matter what you do you lose? Well that's where I found myself today. It seems like lately I can't even tell someone hello without offending someone else. My only prayer is that I will learn whatever lesson God is trying to teach me so tat I will not have to go through this again. Many of you know me well enough to know that I have been in the wrong before but rarely have I been in the position that no matter what I do it seems to be wrong. I can't even stand for the right thing, uphold right principles without doing that wrong. Okay, I will admit, I think I am officially throwing myself a pity party. I would like to thank that person who told me that my blog has helped them, you know who you are. I love you and your family and hope to see you guys get everything straightened out. I am praying for you! It is uplifting to hear that even in our troubles we can help people. I think the trouble with a lot of believers is that we feel that we have to put on the good face for people all them time like we never have troubles. I have a problem with faking it. I am not good at it. A dear lady whom I love very much asked last wednesday how I was doing, I told her great. She knew I was lying and called me on it. I am just not good at it anymore. Are we not called to share one another's burdens? Is it even possible to share your burdens without the gossip train firing up? Or how about someone who does the exact thing they accuse you of doing, only you are wrong for getting upset with them? I need your prayers! I am seriously under attack here. I am fighting th battle of depression at a time when I should be rejoicing. This shows I have some priorities out of whack. I have discovered one of my problems is that I have spent so much time looking outside myself that I have forgotten to look inside myself. Because of this I have let a few things creep into my heart that need to be reconciled. 

Today we celebrated the Lord's Supper. I think today was one of the first days that I ever approached it rightly thanks to a message that I heard this past week. I don't remember who it was by but I didn't want to pass it off like it was mine. I used to approach the Lord's Supper thinking that I was okay to receive it if I had inspected my heart and life and repented of my sins and ask forgiveness of those sins that I had done and yet was unaware of them. We are instructed by Paul to not take the Lord's Supper in an unworthy manner. Our question should be, just when are we ever worthy to approach the Lord's table? The answer is never. Not even after we have repented and no amount of prayer makes us worthy. Only when we find ourselves resting in HIS mercy and grace can we rely on His worthiness. You see, by praying and repenting, thinking we are clean, we are still relying on our worthiness, which is nothing but filth. I heard this and a shutter of fear ran through my soul. Just how many time have I courted judgment by approaching the Lord's table in the wrong way. Paul warns that "this is why many of you are sick and ill among you, and many have fallen asleep." Wow and this was me and many if not all of you. Do you realize how we have been flirting with death? Only by realizing that we are not and never will be worthy of His table can we truly rely on His worthiness. Stop right now and thank God for His mercy. We have really depended upon it in this matter. Praise God for He is good!