cynical

This is my battle today. Pride has led me here. I feel like I am above and beyond most if not all. This is not a good place to be for I know it is not the truth. Confusing "doing" with "being" is a terrible mistake to make and yet I make it. This is what is called self righteousness and it is my sin du jour. Are not these times of testing fun? I pray that I can let go of self and let God be God.

Overlooked

Looks like I am having trouble walking again. The walk, you know what I mean? I don't know if it is pride or just me wanting to be a part of something, maybe its all pride. Maybe, I just thought I would be asked but that didn't even happen. Self denial is at the heart of following Christ, I have to reconcile this with grace and mercy, I know. Doesn't stop feelings from getting hurt. It seems that no matter where, I am always on the outside. Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel and calling it quits, but my love for God, no matter how small it might be, keeps me in it. Don't get me wrong this isn't a pity party, I am not feeling sorry for myself. Maybe, I'll just step aside and just stop, would anyone even notice and ask me or would the complaining and gossip train kick in? No one ever ask me, they ask those who are inside my circle, but don't come close enough to really care. I know that I am rambling but this is how I purge it from my soul. I have felt the weight of depression before and this is not it. I feel like that kid who no one picks to be on their team and I am left to just stand on the sidelines to watch the game. Scratch that, I wasn't even invited to the game much less stand in the crowd to be picked even though I said I wanted to play. Guess its worse because the kid from the next neighborhood was invited to play. Is there no one able to see pasted my facade? My facade has taken my whole life to construct, it is what protects me and keeps my heart from breaking. More than likely it is a bad thing for me, in fact, I know it is because my heart still gets wounded, much like it is right now. Can't wait to teach in the morning, it's really all I have. I thank God for my wife. He has used her time and again to rescue me from myself. With her I have been able to discover agape. Since she chose me, God has blessed me far beyond anything I could have imagined. Ugh, the funk is on. Wow, really? I am this beat down over this? Maybe I can just sleep it off. Maybe it's because its 115 am and I have been moving, cleaning, and painting all day since early this morning. I am going to bed, the morning sun will bring change, how do I know? God renews us every day and I need renewing, BAD!

Where are the cats? Have you seen the cats?

The cats knew something was up and have been hiding from us while we have been moving. Today we couldn't find them in a virtually empty house. Did they slip out and open door during the move? They have never gone outside before, they have always been too scared. Oh well, if they want to stay in the old neighborhood I guess I'll let them.

Moving is 4 the birds

Well, last night we spent the night in the new house. I didn't get much rest, hard a hard time sleeping. A few friends moved all my heavy furniture for me today. Just a few little things and cleaning to be done now at the old house. Man, I am glad the moving is almost over. I am beat! Through it all God is good and has blessed me with a lot of fellowship time with an old friend that I haven't been spending much time with. Good but tough times.

Ah, Sunday

Oh, how I love the Day of the Lord. Great worship today at Glenloch. Neil continues to walk us through Romans. What a masterpiece the book of Romans is.

Tomorrow starts our final push to get moved. Once out, we have to get this placed cleaned. Man we can dirty up a place.

Moving anyone?

Began to move more stuff today, fun fun!!

Look up Dr Kermit Gosnell and read the article from the Huffington Post. Nice, huh?

Learned a new term, Christotainment

What is Christotainment? Unfortunately it is what is going on and being passed off as worship. If you win people with entertainment you must entertain them in order to keep them, then they die and go to hell. Worship service is to worship God not entertain those who show up to the church building. Grow you church over night, all you need is a great sound system and light show, throw in so good singers and boom, instant crowd! What ever happened to a reverent worship service where God is shown the up-most respect and honor. Why all the silliness and story time from the pulpit? Man is not saved by stories, man is saved by hearing the gospel preached. Jesus said that if He would be lifted up, HE would draw men unto himself. The gospel is what people need, nothing more, nothing less. Thanks Wretched!

The Daniel Diet and the house.

Have you heard of the Daniel diet? Well the spiritually immature being blown about by this and that have heard and are doing it. Unfortunately they haven't read the Scriptures to see that it actually made Daniel and company fatter than those who ate the king's choice foods and wine. Unfortunately, "America's Pastor" Rick Warren is leading or attempting at least, to lead his church into this farce. There is no diet plan anywhere in the book of Daniel. Sorry pastor Warren, swing and a miss. The Wretched crew offers a better diet from the book of Daniel, The Lion's Den Diet. You simply don't eat the food placed before you.

Now, another full day at the house. Got Maggie's room insulated and sheetrock hung. The family room, I have it insulated and some sheetrock hung. Installed two Hvac returns installed also in the family room. Installed a new thermostat in the living room.

This afternoon took a trailer load of stuff over and got it stacked out of the way. Gonna move as much, if not all, the small stuff moved tomorrow. All the big stuff the first of next week and we will be in. My man Ed is coming tomorrow to install the carpet in the bed room. More to come, never forget to give God thanks, even for the perceived "bad" things.

The House and death

Ok, day 2 of misery. My legs gave out at about 345 but I stayed and worked until 8. My body is hating me right now and my fuse is short. Bodily, I am worn thin, but I have had a lot of time this week to ponder in my spirit. I think death is near. Yes, I am the wretch the song refers to! (Todd Friel) I must remember that my strength is in Christ or I wont last much longer, and  I haven't even moved the furniture yet. Got good news, we get to keep our Uverse! Yea!!!! It is the best TV service/18 mb Internet and phone service I have ever had. Got a 30 yard roll off delivered today which means I have 30 days to get all the demolition done because that roll off isn't cheap. Got all the Sheetrock torn out the new addition. Can you believe that they hung the Sheetrock on an exterior wall without putting in insulation? Well insulation is now there, got a few outlets moved and now it is ready for Sheetrock. Still got plumbing to do and some electrical. Boy I really am rambling tonight. Simply typing as it comes out. I now believe the well is dry. Good night!

The House and my Mack

My little man .is three years old now. If we could just get him to use the potty now it would be great. He is growing too fast.

Success! I installed a new hot water heater, and it works! Booyah! Now got to get moved in. Got some electrical work to do that I didn't get to today.